Polaris, the Guiding Star
by Little Miss Invisible
Summary: Companion fic to How Lily got James but can stand alone. A confrontation in the Astronomy Towers during Lily's prefect rounds led to so much more. My take on how it would have been on how they became kind of friends.
1. Chapter 1

Polaris, the Guiding Star

It was almost midnight and 16 year old Gryffindor Prefect Lily Evans was just finishing up her rounds for the night. Her partner, Remus Lupin was absent because it was a day before the full moon and Lily told him that she could do it alone since it was the last full moon before school ended.

Her last stop was the Astronomy Tower. She always loved looking at stars. It was something she learned how to do with her grandfather and she loved to remember all of the nights when she couldn't sleep and her grandfather would coax her up on to the roof and they would pick out constellations and make up stories about them.

Normally, the other prefects have gotten rid of the snogging couples and there would be nobody there but tonight, Lily saw the shadow of person sitting on the ledge, illuminated by the light of the moon.

"Lumos" Lily whispered, lighting her wand up so that she could see up the stairs.

"Hello? Who's there? It's already past curfew and you should already be in bed." Lily said as she walked up the stairs with her wand out in front of her.

As soon as she got up, she noticed the trademark messy raven black hair of James Potter, her current crush of 6 years.

"James? What are you doing up here?"

"None of your business, Evans" James said, turning away from Lily and facing the stars.

"It's past curfew. I should dock points." Lily pointed out.

"You go do that." James responded, unfazed.

"I can't always let you go scot free. I'm a prefect. I have to follow the school rules."

"Mmmmm…" James hummed as he traced out the constellation for Hercules.

"Why are you ignoring me, James? I'm trying to be nice to you!"

"Why can't you take a hint, Evans? Maybe I'm ignoring you so that you'll get the hint that I don't want you here. Just leave me alone, for Merlin's sake."

"What if I just wanted to be here?"

"Then I'll leave you to your stargazing. Goodnight and thanks for ruining my night." James grumbled, getting up from the ledge, heading to the doorway only to be prevented by a hand on his shoulder.

"What did I ever do to you, James? What? Why do you hate me so much?" Lily cried angrily.

He turned around and started to rant at her.

"It's because you're so ignorant about the world. For Merlin's sake, look around you Evans! There's a war going on out there. People are dying. My parents have died because of the war out there, protecting people like you and you're here, bugging me day in and day out, forcing me to reject you because I don't like you."

"I've stopped bugging for the past year! All I ask is that we be friends. Why can't you like me, James? What's so wrong with me that you can't even give me a chance?" Lily asked.

"I can't love you!" James exploded.

"I know!" Lily shouted back. James looked at her, stunned.

"I know, okay? You don't have to rub it in." Lily said, wiping her tears." I know that you can't love me. I know that I'll never be worthy of your love. I know it."

Lily turned away and looked at the stars, determined not to let James see her tears.

You don't know what it was like for me. I'm a muggleborn. I know I'm already being targeted because of my blood status and my grades. I've put myself in the spotlight. I know that. I wake up every day in fear of getting that accursed black letter because I know my parents are innocent and that they'd have been targeted because of me! You're a pureblood. You don't have anything to worry about. I envy you, James and I admire you. I chase you because I've been chasing you for so long that it's become instinct for me. It's something familiar, something I can hold onto. When the world has shifted on its axis and everything I know has changed, you're still there. You're still the same. I don't care if you can't love me. I don't care if you reject me. As long as you're around, I can pretend that everything is still the same and that I can go out and not be scared to die just because a megalomaniac is eradicating my kind."

A long silence followed before Lily got the courage to speak up once more.

"Don't ever say I'm ignorant about the war going on out there. I'm a muggleborn, a mudblood. I've had myself marked for death since the minute I walked into this place. I just want to pretend like blood doesn't matter like I know it doesn't. When blood is spilled, magical or muggle it bleeds red. Every time, I look into the mirror, I see the red in my hair and every time I read the paper, I imagine the red blood seeping into the earth. I just want to pretend even if it is just in my head that everything is okay and that everything will be fine. Is it so wrong to try live my life even with the war going on?" Lily whispered, the tears heard in her voice.

A long silence ensued and Lily had thought that James had left. She was lost in her thoughts about the war, about her grades, about her parents that she almost didn't notice that James was now beside her, looking out into the vast abyss of space.

"I'm sorry. I was wrong about you." James mumbled.

"Huh?" Lily sniffled, wiping away her tears with her robe sleeve.

"I was wrong about you. I'd always thought that you were doing it as revenge for what I called Snape on the train. I didn't stop to think that it was real. I forgot everything my mum taught me about treating ladies and about proper protocol. I shouldn't have embarrassed you even if I thought that it was revenge. You didn't even know about what it meant. I didn't realize that."

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have been so blind to the fact that you didn't want me around. I've been trying though. You know, I just realized, this is our first real conversation without screaming at each other."

"Huh, I guess it is."

"We're both so different from how we used to be. I'll be blunt. I still love you. I'll probably never stop but I can try to forget about it so that we can at least try and be friends. We're both mature people. I think we can stop fighting all the time." Lily said, facing James.

"I'd like that." James said with a smile.

Lily blushed at that but quickly remembered why she had come up and looked for the star her grandfather loved.

"Look over there. See that star? That's the Northern Star, Polaris. That was always my grandfather's favourite star because he was named after it and he was a sailor so it was a constant companion in the night sky. He always used to tell me that as long as it was visible in the night sky, he would always be there and then I'd point out that it was always there and we'd laugh ourselves silly pointing at the stars and the constellations making up new ones and creating stories about them." Lily said, tears gathering in her eyes as she remembered her grandfather that she'd loved and missed dearly.

"Do you still do that often?"

"He passed away before I even got my Hogwarts letter."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

"No, it's okay to ask. We're kind of friends now, aren't we? My grandfather had lung cancer and when it eventually took his voice, I decided to pretend like nothing was wrong and I would keep talking to him about anything and everything and his eyes would tell me his response. I would create stories and I would tell him about my day, excluding the bad parts of course and he would smile at me and hug me and I knew that he loved me. When he passed away, I cried and cried for days. I thought the world had ended. I was only 9 years old and Se-Snape was the one to pull me out of my depression. I guess it all started there, my habit of pretending nothing was wrong."

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to pretend."

"Thanks James."

"You're welcome, Lily." James smiled at her.

Lily was shocked. This was the first time she'd ever heard him refer to her as Lily.

"Let's talk about something else. You see that star? That's Sirius, the brightest star in the sky. Padfoot wouldn't let me hear the end of it every Astronomy lesson we had. He'd go James, look over there, it's me. Look over here, it's still me, get it?" James said, breaking the silence.

They spent the rest of the night chatting, pointing at stars, tracing new and old constellations and laughing together. At about 3 am, they realized how late was and decided to head to bed.

They went up together, narrowly escaping Filch and eventually saying goodnight at the base of the stairs leading to their individual dorms. The boys were still up and asked James where he was. All he answered was looking at the stars. Thankfully, Lily's dorm mates were all asleep but the butterflies dancing Lily's stomach made it impossible for her to find sleep.

She decided to write a short entry in her diary before she slept.

Dear Diary,

You won't believe what happened tonight. As I finished my rounds, I found James Potter in the Astronomy Tower and we became something close to friends, something I thought would be impossible. I've loved him since I've met him and I know that he can't love me back but at least I'm part of his life now and that's all I'll settle for. It is difficult to be around him though. What happened tonight only made me love him more. He stayed with me, diary, and talked with me until 3 in the morning. He made me laugh so many times with the stories he's created with the stars and he made me remember why I didn't give up on chasing him but I think it's time for me to stop chasing and start knowing. I need to stop pretending that because he's still the same towards me as he was in first year that I still need not be worried about the war. I need to face the music but I still can't believe that we're on the track to becoming friends. He's exactly as I know him and more. I knew him and all of his secrets and all of his tales but now, I can honestly say I know James Potter not because I love him and I observed him but because he let me. I love James Potter and I'll probably never stop but I can't help but wish that he would love me back but I guess that's what dreams are for, right? Anyway, I should get to sleep. I still have a few more things to accomplish before we go back home for the summer holidays in a week. Good night diary. I'll never forget about tonight.

Love,

Lily Evans

James Potter couldn't sleep either. Sure he told the boys that he was going to sleep but his mind was racing about what he'd learned about a girl he thought he knew. He'd always believed that Lily was just joking, that Lily was ignorant, that Lily wasn't any better than the purebloods he hated but then she proved everything he knew about her false.

She was just a girl scared for her life who was trying to maintain a sense of normalcy and that was through him. She'd always been aware, she just didn't show it and tonight, he saw a whole different side to Lily Evans.

He'd found himself trying to make her laugh because her emerald green lit up like Christmas lights and her laughter sounded like tinkling bells. He found himself trying to make her smile at him because her smile made her look beautiful and for the first time since he was eleven, he thought the red-headed girl was beautiful.

He'd fallen for her that night but he'd wait until her birthday the following year before he did anything about it. They spent the summer thinking and dreaming about each other and when they became Heads together, they became real friends and they fell deeper in love.

The stars brought them together but one particular star guided them to each other. Polaris led Lily to James and it made James realize that Lily was more than she seemed. The Northern Star once more led astray people to their rightful paths.


	2. Chapter 2

It was the night before graduation and the Head Boy and Head Girl were finishing up their rounds for the last time. Instead of the normal conversation, solemn silence echoed in the corridors.  
The Head boy, James Potter was deep in thought and so was his girlfriend and Head Girl, Lily Evans. They d finished most of the patrols and only had the Astronomy Tower left, a tradition that both of them had started after the faithful night in 6th year.  
As they peered up the winding staircase, they saw no shadow, heard no sound and found no living presence there. As Lily turned to head to their dorm, James started to speak.  
One more time, for old times sake? James whispered, holding onto Lily s hand.  
Lily turned around, nodded and lit her wand. She made her way up the staircase silently, closely followed by James and turned to face the night sky. James sidled up beside her, put an arm around her shoulders and looked out into the night.  
Lily leaned into James with a sigh as she finally came to terms that this was their last night at Hogwarts, the school that she had considered home for the last seven years. She had finished her classes, taken her NEWTS and completed the year.  
It had been a very challenging year for the Head Girl especially as her parents had gone on to the next great adventure too early for her liking. It was a simple case of being at the wrong place at the wrong time but there was nothing she could do, magical or muggle to change it.  
Luckily, James was there to comfort her in her times of need, causing her to fall even deeper in love with him. In between NEWT classes, Head Duties and social obligations, it was wonder that she didn t go crazy.  
Of course, James was by her side the entire year, supporting her and caring for her. She d lost count of the number of times that she d fallen asleep in their common room only to wake up in her bedroom, without a recollection of how she got there only to realize her fellow Head had carried her to her bed.  
James became a steady figure in her life. He brought some food for her when she ran late, he made her laugh with his jokes when she was down and he made her a happier person in general. He became one of her best friends so it was a shock for her during her 17th birthday that James had asked her out. He had nervous the entire day and couldn t stop fiddling. When Lily finally found out why, she was baffled. She d been chasing after him for six years and in the year that she swore to herself that she would give up on him did he finally reciprocate her feelings. There was something ironic in that but Lily chose not to focus on that but rather, focus on James.  
It barely took her 2 seconds to answer in affirmative and the couple has never looked back since and continued to move forward in their relationship. They were friends at the start of the year due to a truce and this was precisely where the tradition of saving the Astronomy Tower last during patrols started.  
The conversation between them was forced and the silence that hung about was heavy and awkward. Or at least it was until they reached the Astronomy Tower. Without noticing, Lily took her normal patrol route and James had gone along with it causing the Astronomy Tower to be their last stop.  
She remembered it like it was yesterday. She was ready to leave and head to their dorms but James had stopped her with the words he d said. He had wanted to continue their friendship because he found her intriguing and couldn t stop thinking about her during the summer.  
Do you remember that night in the Astronomy Tower? Let s continue it, yeah? Uh, sure, why not? Lily responded.  
James grinned at her for the first time in who knows how long and Lily s heart fluttered. James raced up the stairs and Lily raced up to follow him. He had already taking his spot by the ledge and was looking at her expectantly, waiting for her to come take her place beside him.  
She made her way over to him and smiled shyly at him as she sat on the ledge. They continued where they had left off. Quite frankly, it was as if the summer hadn t passed between them and that they had been best friends for years. Tonight, however James had a different reason for leading Lily up the tower. He had gotten the promise ring his grandfather gave his grandmother out of the Potter Family vaults and he had planned to give it to Lily tonight.  
He had his friends set up a picnic under the stars using a couple of blankets and more than a dozen fluffy pillows. There was also a basket of food he had asked the house elves to prepare and leave there. He wanted everything to be perfect for Lily.  
Of course, he had shrunken all of these ahead of time and had hidden them under his invisibility cloak. Once Lily had gotten tired, it was then that James revealed his surprise. It was nice doing this again, James but we have to go. We re graduating later and I want to at least look like I slept. But wouldn t you rather enjoy a picnic underneath the stars? James said with a flourish as he removed the cloak and simultaneously enlarged the items.  
Oh James, you didn t have to do anything for me. Lily said, flustered and blushing.  
I know Lily but I wanted to. James said with his trademark grin.  
He gestured for Lily to take a seat while he got all of the food items out of the basket. It was a mix of James and Lily s favorites from treacle tart to butterbeer. Lily smiled at James as fumbled around with the items.  
The two dined with delight, trading stories and happily letting time pass. It was only when James realized that it was nearing 11:00 that he decided he needed to put his plan into motion.  
Let s take one more look at Polaris. It should be bright tonight. James suggested.  
Okay. Lily agreed as she stood up and made her way to the ledge.  
James pointed the star and whispered Look into Lily s ear as fireworks began to go off. The sky was lit up in a beautiful cacophony of colors. When Lily turned to look at James, he was kneeling.  
Lily, you re the light of my life, the apple of my eye. You made me want to become a better person for you. A year ago exactly, You showed me a different side of yourself and I fell in love with the beautiful soul in front of me. Now, I can t imagine my life, my future without you. You are absolutely, positively, breathtakingly beautiful, intelligent and amazing. I know I don t deserve you. But for some reason, you love me and fate decided we would be together even if I was a total asshole to you when we were younger. So here I am, begging on my knees for you to not only forgive me for the wrongs that I have done to you but to ask if you would be willing to be the keeper of my heart, the mother of our children. Lily Marie Evans, will you marry me? Yes! Lily said, tears running down her cheeks with joy.  
Yes? Yes! James stood up, picked up Lily and spun her around in circles as they laughed. When James put her on the ground again, Lily kissed her new fiance with all of the love and passion she could muster.  
You really had to do this in the Astronomy Tower? Lily asked as they separated breathlessly.  
Of course, Lily. This was where I first realized I loved you, where I first saw the real you. This was where the fate destined for us to fall in love under the light of the stars, under the watch of Polaris, the star that led me to you. I love you Lily Evans soon to be Potter. I love you too, James Potter. 


End file.
